whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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