I can text with my tongue
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
