I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
