I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
