Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I can text with my tongue
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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