he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
