when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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