I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
