I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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