Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
