I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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