I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
