why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
