Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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