I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
