I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
