Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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