Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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