I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
