my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Panties = found
Randomize
