Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
