my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
