dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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