I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
