Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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