We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
