life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
