They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
