It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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