I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am naked and annoyed.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
