no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
