I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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