five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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