At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
