What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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