OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
