Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
