dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
