Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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