He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
