Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
