cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
