we have officially lost it.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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