everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
