Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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