Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
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You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
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If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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