I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think a kid would responsible me up
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
