so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
