I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
