I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
