at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
