Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Are we still banned from the library?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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