a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
