I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
