never play flip cup with pint glasses
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
