yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
please come you make the beer taste better
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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