Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
