oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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