people are starting to question the shark bite story
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
