She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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