So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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