My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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