I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
