So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
