somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
