I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
What a dumb baby whore.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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