One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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