Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
